my little brown dress

I swear I had the easiest baby in the world until the day I found out I was pregnant again. I am 11 weeks today and I'm still wondering how on earth this happened. It's not like my husband and I don't know where babies come from. And we're not stupid either. 

Well maybe a little. 

I didn't want to go back on the pill. He didn't want to use condoms. Insurance wouldn't cover an IUD. And then we thought, well maybe we should just leave it in God's hands. It might be nice to have two close together. 

It took a lot of effort to get pregnant the first (and second) times -- ovulation predictor kits, pre-seed, charting, temping, boring planned out baby-making sex, and lots and lots of stress. Never in a million years did I think this would actually happen with nothing. And I mean nothing! Other than a few margaritas on the beach of course. And a little brown dress. Turns out I'm Fertile Myrtle.

Let me tell you about this little brown dress. I wore it to the brunch the morning after our wedding. And I wore it again on our honeymoon in Switzerland. The dress is nothing fancy but it's special to me and it's my favorite. Did I mention it's a size 4? I suppose that might be why it's my favorite.

Anyway, shortly after Avery was born, my husband's company rewarded him with an all-expense-paid trip to the Bahamas. It was that day that I reached into the back of my closet and pulled out my little brown dress and hung it on my closet door. I was not going to be the girl who has a baby and then lets herself go. I just wasn't going to be her. I was going to get my  butt (and my belly) back into that size 4 dress if it killed me.

And did I work my butt off!! Once Avery started sleeping through the night, I started dragging myself out of bed at 5:30 to make it to my 6am spinning classes at the gym. (Seriously who does that?!?!) I took a Pilates class on Saturdays and a Strength Training class on Sundays. I followed Weight Watchers religiously and never missed a meeting. I didn't eat desert. I cut my carbs. And within 4 months I had lost ALL of my baby weight plus an additional 8lbs. I was back to my wedding weight. And back into my size 4 dress!

The picture on the sidebar is from the Bahamas. Me in my little brown dress. This might have actually been taken just hours before we conceived (or after -- who can remember?) So where did that dress get me? Feeling sexy enough to seduce my husband? Being sexy enough for him to seduce me back? And there we go. Knocked up again. 

I blame the dress.

Well back to the back of my closet it goes. Because it will be a long LONG time before I'll fit into that thing again, if ever. So much for all that work. All those early mornings. All that determination. Now when people see me they think, "Poor thing still hasn't taken her baby weight off. She's still got a belly." And this is what I was so determined to avoid in the first place. And that's what pisses me off more than anything -- I did avoid it, dammit. 

Like I said, I have nobody to blame but the damn dress.