Dear Avery -- 8 months old

Dear Avery,

You are becoming such a big, beautiful, curious little lady. You love balls, dolls, water bottles, remote controls, cell phones, books, hairbrushes and anything that makes music. And of course your mommy and daddy. You are so cuddly these days and so sweet. 

In fact you are a lot of things lately that I couldn't say you were a month or so ago. Mostly you are just happy. It's what I've been wanting for you for so long. And dare I say it -- you are even easy. 

See, sweetheart, you are finally getting the sleep that you need. You wake up from your naps full of energy and smiles and you play quietly in your crib until I come to get you. If I didn't have the video monitor I'd probably think you were still sleeping. But I get to watch you -- sitting up talking to your dolly, reading your book and clapping your binkies together with joy. There are no more tears. None. It's such a beautiful thing. 

It was a tough road to get you here and I doubted myself many times. But I know now that I've given you a precious gift and it was the best thing I could have done. I think you know it too. I swear you love me even more these days. You give me hugs and kisses and cuddles. There is nothing better in the whole wide world. 

And we don't butt heads anymore. You give me time to shower and clean and cook and get everything else done so that when nap-time is over I get to do nothing but play with you. It's my best part of the day.

We solved our stroller problem too. We take wagon walks now instead and you LOVE it. You play with mommy's water bottle and eat your ritz crackers and smile at everyone in the neighborhood and babble away the whole time. You are in your glory.

You bring me so much joy. I love you so much.

Love,

Mommy

Bathtime

She loves her big girl bath but doesn't have much interest in getting dressed afterwards!

So fast!

CIO

Babies can only learn what we take the time to teach them.

I've learned this lesson now loud and clear. I had been expecting too much from Avery -- expecting her to nap the "right" way when I had never taught her the "right" way. People told me she's start stretching her naps once we started solids. Nope. Then they told me she'd do it once she started crawling. Nope. Everyone convinced me that she would just do this on her own. Or she'd never do it at all. And that I'd just have to accept that.

So I did accept it. I gave up. But I was still frustrated and exhausted. She was a fussy, overtired, clingy, high-maintenance baby and I was going all day with her with just a 30-minute break here and there. I loved her but I was becoming depressed. I couldn't fathom how on earth I would ever do this with a newborn added to the mix in a few months. It wasn't working for any of us.

It was a friend of a friend who finally sat me down (over the phone), told it to me straight and gave me a plan. It worked for her and it would work for me -- she promised. But I had to be committed and I had to be patient. And then this woman called me every single day and offered me a kind of support that made all the difference in the world. This stranger saved my family.

Letting her cry it out wasn't easy. There was a lot of screaming involved. Hearing my daughter scream and not rushing up the stairs to save her took a kind of strength I wasn't sure I could muster. There were a lot of tears from me too. 

But I kept reminding myself over and over and over that the hardest lessons in life are often the best ones. And that it is my responsibility as her mother to also be her teacher. My husband would argue that that is our biggest responsibility. It was up to us to teach her how to soothe herself and get the rest she so desperately needs. She wasn't hurt. She wasn't in danger. She wasn't hungry. She wasn't wet. She was going to be ok. 

And saving her actually meant not rushing up the stairs.

I know that CIO is not the best choice for every family. This was pretty much our last resort. But after 9 days I can tell you that it did work for us. Avery is in the middle of her morning nap right now. She woke after 45 minutes, fussed for 30 seconds, rolled over and went back to sleep. I am watching her on the video monitor right now cuddled up with her lovey, dreaming away peacefully. 

With complete pride, I can tell you this was absolutely the right choice for us. She is happier, more independent, less clingy and has a new spark that I haven't seen before. She is enjoyable.

I am happier too. I have my life back. I am the one in control again. No matter what happens, I know I get my 3 hours to myself every day. I can shower, read, write, have my cup of coffee, put my feet up or do anything else I feel like doing. I wake up excited for the day instead of dreading it. All I can say is that this has changed everything.

I am so proud of my little girl. And I am so proud of myself for having the strength to give her this gift.

Dear Avery -- our first Mother's Day

Dear Avery,

It was a glorious day. You slept 11 1/2 hours last night and played happily in your crib after you woke up. You gave me snuggles and hugs and kisses. And then you gave me a special Mother's Day nap -- over an hour and a half! What more could a momma ask for?

You are the best gift I have ever been given. I love you a million trillion bazillion godillion. And even more than that.

We went out for a special brunch today -- just you, me and Daddy. And then the plan was to plant a Mother's Day tree together in our front yard so we can watch each year as you and the tree and your little brother or sister all grow up together.

But we got sidetracked with a little red wagon. It was a random thought today but we went with it. And it turned into Daddy's big project. He was on a mission. I can't really say it was smooth sailing. But after 2 trips to Walmart, runs to 2 different Targets and a long time in the car stuck in a traffic jam, we got your wagon. And boy was it worth it. You LOVE that thing. And there is nothing, and I mean nothing, in the world that makes me happier than to see you lit up with joy. I think Daddy really knew how to make my day. Did I mention he also dusted, cleaned the bathroom and made the formula today? Your daddy is a good man.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I really am the luckiest lady in all the world. And I am so honored to be your mother.

Love,

Mommy

Who doesn't love Sesame Street?

I spent the first 7 months of Avery's life trying to steer her away from the tv. When she was really little she was fascinated by it, stretching her neck in every which direction just to catch a glimpse of the big, bright, moving, sound-making machine. On many occasions I had to turn the darn thing off and remind her that her real live mother was much more interesting.

Nowadays she could really care less. Problem is, I kind of want her to care. 

See, showering is a challenge. She gets bored sitting in her bouncy seat in the bathroom. And who can blame her? She's a moving, cruising, adventure-seeking little lady. Sitting just isn't her thing. But can I really have her crawling around while I'm behind the curtain. My husband doesn't like the idea. He's afraid she'll lick the toilet. And quite frankly, I'm getting a little tired of playing peek-a-boo while trying to rinse the shampoo out of my hair. But I'm desperate for my 10 uninterrupted minutes of pure hot shower heaven. Is that too much to ask?

Naps are out of the question. By the time I'd get my teeth brushed, clothes off and water on, she'd be screaming letting me know naptime is over. So we decided we'd give up our fight, bow our heads in shame and do what I said I'd never do. Television. Introduce her to Sesame Street. It's educational, right? 

So I dragged the exersaucer up to our bedroom and stuck it in front of the tv. I set her up with toys, books and the best children's show of all time. And guess what? She could care less. Apparently Big Bird just isn't her thing.

Yet I find myself embarrassingly mesmerized by the giant yellow bird. We turn it on for her in the morning too when my husband and I need a few extra minutes of shut-eye. She plays happily with her toys and I lie there in bed studying the letter of the day with Elmo and wishing I were 3 again. 

Seriously, who doesn't love Sesame Street?