3 hour naps

are HEAVEN!!!!!!!! That's all I have to say. Avery NEVER did this until the day we brought Tyler home from the hospital, when she was 13 months old. So there is hope for all of you who know the pain of non-nappers!

I joined the gym!

I checked it out last week and was really upset about the childwatch. It just seemed like way too many kids. I went again today to a different branch and the toddler area was blocked off in their own section. It's no bigger than my kitchen and always has an adult on watch. Today there were 3-4 kids and at most there are 7-8. The infant area is the same way in a separate area. I am ok with this.

The staff was really nice and knowledgeable and Avery immediately attached herself to the woman in the toddler area. Unfortunately the woman had to leave to pick up her child at school and Avery melted down and they had to come get me because she was so upset. But the good news is THEY CAME TO GET ME, which is what I asked them to do. So I didn't get to finish my class but oh well. My kids were safe and cared for. And I had a whole 30 minutes TO MYSELF!

I can't wait to go back tomorrow. Hopefully Avery will do a little better and I'll get to finish a whole class. I am SO excited to get my body back -- 7 more weeks to Aruba!!

I think we have a routine!

This was one of my biggest anxieties before Ty was born -- how on earth would I manage my time to meet both of their needs. Well it's taken us 6 weeks but I think we've settled into a routine and it actually works!! The only issue is that there aren't any big windows of time to go out and do any errands because somebody always needs to be fed or Avery is napping. I'm hoping once Avery fully drops her morning nap it will free up some time to go out and get things done.

So here is our 15-month/6-week routine!

6:00 wake-up call from both babies, luckily Avery will play in her crib by herself for a while
6:00 change/feed Tyler
6:30 Avery breakfast
7:00 my coffee/breakfast
7:30 Tyler nap (usually on my chest in the ergo)
8:30 change/feed Tyler
9:00 Avery nap (sometimes she just plays in her crib)
my shower
9:15 laundry/clean
10:00 get both kids dressed
Tyler nap
11:00 change/feed Tyler
11:30 Avery lunch
12:00 my lunch
1:00 Avery & Tyler nap (yippee!!!)
1:30 change/feed Tyler
2:00 watch O.C.
3:00 Avery snack
Tyler nap
4:00 change/feed Tyler
5:00 Avery dinner
5:30 Avery bath
Tyler nap
me cook dinner
6:00 me & Phil dinner
6:30 change/feed Tyler
7:00 Avery bed
8:30 change/feed Tyler
9:00 me and Tyler bedtime
2:30 change/feed Tyler

my letter from work came today

the letter saying I need to make a decision by Jan. 15 about next year. UGH.

I am currently on my 2nd year leave of absence from my teaching job. Phil thinks we've already decided. I've been telling him forever how glad I am that I can stay home, how it would be ridiculous to pay for daycare for 2 kids and how I could never imagine getting out the door with 2 kids and then commuting 45 min and getting to work by 8:00, when I would ever have time to get the groceries, do the laundry, clean the house, etc. -- how much more stressful it would be for all of us.

And this is all still true. But this is so final now. If I don't go back, I lose my job. It's not like I can ask them to hold my position for a THIRD year. I've been in limbo for 2 years now and it's been a safety net for me. I've still been a part of my school community. I've gone to the baby showers, bridal showers, funerals, parades, etc. I've always known in the back of my head that I COULD go back if I wanted to. And when people ask me what I do I still say I'm a teacher.

I was a teacher for 10 years before Avery was born. I was at this particular school for 5 years. It was a REALLY good job. It was a miracle I got hired in that district to begin with. They are the highest paying in the state and I could never find another teaching job that payed as well.

But it's not just that. I had FRIENDS there. I fit in. They were a second family to me. I never minded going to work. And I was proud to tell people what I did for a living. It was a huge part of my identity.

I love being a SAHM and I know how lucky I am that I even have the option to stay home with my children. It is the most wonderful thing in the world. But still, I feel like giving this up is like giving up a part of myself.

There are other options. My friend from work also just had a baby and at one point we discussed job-sharing (basically teaching the same class and each working half the week). She is coming over on Friday and I know it will come up. But in my heart I don't think this is for me. I'm sorry for rambling. I'm just nowhere near ready to make this decision.

"night-night Ty"

Avery's first 2-word sentence!!! We were in Target and he was getting fussy. I said, "Tyler needs a night-night." Avery turns around in the cart (he was in his car seat in the back of the cart) and says "night-night Ty" and then blows him a kiss! I have never been more proud of my little girl. I must say she has REALLY stepped up to the plate on being the big sister. She is SO AMAZING with him!

harder or easier than I expected?

I'd say 2 under 2 has moments of being really easy and moments of being really hard. When everyone is fed and changed and happy then I take a deep breath and look at my beautiful children and say, "wow this is great!" Then 2 minutes later everyone is crying and they are both hungry at once and both have poops in their diapers and groceries that need to be put away and the phone is ringing off the hook and I have to pee and I think, "oh my god, are you joking?!" But the good moments definitely outweigh the challenging ones. I wouldn't trade my life right now for anything.

I think the end of my pregnancy was actually harder than it is right now. I was so big and uncomfortable and it was really hard for me to take care of and play with Avery. And I had so much anxiety about all the unknowns.

Nothing is as scary as I thought it would be. Overall I'd say that I am loving my new life and when things get stressful I just pour myself another cup of coffee or another cup of wine, depending on the time of day.

how to take them to the doctor's today???

We have an appt to re-check Avery's ear this morning. I'm glad because the poor thing just came off antibiotics and is sick again!!! Anyway I'm on my own here so will have to take both kids myself. Should I:

a. Avery in the maclaren, Ty in the ergo -- if Avery gets upset (which she often does at the doctors) it might be hard for me to hold her if he is on my chest
b. Ty in the snap&go, Avery holding my hand & carry her if she runs off -- she definitely might run off
c. double stroller -- pain to get in and out of the car, will take up the whole examining room

These are the kind of logistics that are hard to figure out with 2 under 2!!

ugh and here is my next dilemma -- he is due to eat at some point around our appt time. I could either wake him and feed him right now before we leave or hope for the best and try to get home before he gets hungry. I think it will be hard to feed him there if Avery is screaming adn throwing a tantrum.

2 hours later...

Well, I went with the snap-n-go. I realized I wasn't going to have time to feed him before I left so we just left a little early instead. That gave me just enough time to feed him in the waiting room. Unfortunately he ate too fast and then threw up all over himself and me. Some dumb guy in the waiting room kept telling me what a spitty baby I have.

Avery did fine until I had the nurse look at her diaper rash and she thought she was getting a shot. She freaked out and didn't stop freaking out until we got in the car so I ended up having to carry her out of there. Ty was screaming too. Big old screamfest. And she did take off in the parking lot as predicted.

Oh well, it's done and we all survived. Is it too early for my glass of wine?