Three weeks ago Daddy came home with unexpected news. He lost his job. He hadn't done anything to warrant this loss; in fact his performance with his company was outstanding. You both know that nobody works harder than Daddy.
But sometimes things in life happen this way; unexpected, unreasonable, unfair. You can't always fight these things. You must learn to take what life hands you and hold your heads up high no matter what. Life isn't about the hand you're dealt, it's how you play your cards. And you need to play them with grace and dignity...always. Remember that.
Anyway a few days ago I took Tyler to Market Basket and received another unexpected blow. It wasn't nearly as big as Dad's unemployment, of course, but it still bothered me to my core. This is what I found on my windshield after buying our groceries at Market Basket:
To the person(s) who left this note on my car in the Market Basket parking lot:
First of all, please accept my apology for not properly centering my car between the lines. I am sincerely sorry for whatever nuisance that may have caused.
To be fair, it wasn’t possible for me to center my car within the lines because the car on the other side of me was not centered in his. It is the nature of the beast of the Market Basket parking lot. I had driven around the lot for over 10-minutes with my son desperately wanting to get out already, and this spot was the first of which I came across. And let me assure you my car was NOT a foot away from yours. I didn’t bring my measuring tape today, but if my 5-year-old was able to easily open his car door and climb out without hitting your car with his door, I can assure you it was more than one foot. (no, he isn’t very big...but he’s not very careful about swinging open doors either and I never would have let him out that side had we been that close) You may not believe me but I actually AM considerate of others.
What I’m most curious about, though, is how much do you consider others? Did you give any thought to who might receive your note? What if I had been a little old lady? I saw at least 8 at Market Basket this morning. How about a new mom struggling with a screaming infant? I saw one of those too. A mom with a 5-year-old who can recognize the letters of what he calls “the f-bomb” and wants to know why someone would ever say something so horrible to his mom? Yup, that one is me.
Here are some other things you couldn’t possibly know about me. There is nothing that makes me shudder more than dragging my very active 5-year-old son to Market Basket with me on our one day off together. But today I had no choice. Three weeks ago my husband lost his job (without a day of notice) and we are already half-way through his company’s “generous” 6-week severance. Our grocery envelope was down to its last few dollars and I am determined to make those dollars last. Our health insurance runs out in 3 days, and though I am a public school teacher (perhaps your child’s teacher??) I receive no health benefits because I am not full-time.
We were quick to get out of the car this morning because my son was excited to run into Staples to buy his daddy a present (resume paper). A grocer with special needs was on his way to our car to offer us a cart and I wanted to receive his generosity kindly instead of dilly-dallying to try to straighten my car in a spot in which it could never be straightened.
Don’t get me wrong. This is no pity party. I will shop at Market Basket (crazy parking lot, crowded aisles and all) with my head held high. I will take joy in the friendly staff. I will be grateful for the grocer who brings us a cart. I will smile back to every single elderly man and woman and think warmly of my grandparents every time. I will gladly help the little old lady in aisle 9 reach the box on the highest shelf and be proud to share this easy example of kindness and compassion with my son. And of course I will appreciate the savings with a more grateful perspective than ever before.
Now it felt cathartic and empowering to get my thoughts out on paper and express myself so freely. But it wasn't enough. I know very well I can't possibly change all the hostility in the world. But I felt this nagging need to teach both of YOU what you can do when life hands you a lemon. Because trust me, life will hand you plenty.
You came home from school and I asked you if wanted to join me in heading off on a mission to make the world a better place. Of course you both said YES! So we drove over to Market Basket and left 10 notes like this one on random cars in the parking lot. We might have looked a little crazy running around the parking lot. But that's the thing. WHO CARES?!?! When you're doing something kind, don't worry about looking cool. Kind always comes first.
We looked mostly for handicapped cars and ones with carseats. Then we drove around the lot for over an hour and tried to spy as people came out of the store and received their notes. We caught one half-smile and two people who drove off without ever noticing the paper on their windshield. Somehow we missed all of the rest.
Except one. We pulled in next to the lady just after she got her note and watched her laughing hysterically into her cellphone. She caught us spying and figured us out. She insisted that we roll down our windows, told us how we totally just made her day and that she had just called her friend to read her the note. She couldn't stop smiling and thanking us. Then she told us she planned to do the same for someone else.
That's the thing. Kindness is infectious. It feels good and people want to spread it. Tyler said on the way home, "Wow, making people happy is fun." That's the lesson. It IS fun. It is inspiring to inspire others. And just remembers it takes the same amount of energy to be kind as it does to be cruel. But kind feels a WHOLE lot better.
Choose kind every time. I promise you, you can't go wrong.
I love you both!
Mom
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