Dear Tyler -- 2 years olds

Dear Tyler,

It seems like just yesterday you were this tiny little thing who used to curl up on my chest and sleep the day away. Now you are a running, jumping, singing, dancing happy little two-year-old boy. And you are every bit as sweet now as you were then (other than when you are kicking and screaming on the kitchen floor throwing a tantrum of course!)

Every day it seems you are doing or learning something new. You are talking in full sentences now. You substitute "L" for "S" so things like "lit down" and "I no lee it" might not be understandable to everyone but they are to me. We had our first snowstorm last week and the first words out of your mouth when I opened the curtains were, "I no lee no lowman."

The other morning I woke up to a loud thud. I ran to your room and threw open your door and there you were standing right there smiling and saying, "Hi mom." You had climbed out of your crib! I thought it might have been a fluke but you did it again the next morning. You were SO proud of yourself. You even got back it to show Vivi and I how you did it. You just threw your leg up over the top and pulled yourself right over and out. So we spent the morning making your big boy bed and practicing. Avery pretended to read you stories and tuck you in. You loved it! When it came time for naptime though, you didn't really understand that you actually had to sleep in your bed. But by nighttime you had figured it out. It's been about 3 or 4 successful days and nights now in your big boy bed so we took apart your crib today. You are officially a big boy!

Daddy and I gave you a toolbench for your birthday. You are obsessed with it. You love your tools more than anything. Sometimes you even sleep with your hammer or screwdriver. I think it's funny that your daddy was cursing his tools putting yours together. I'm not sure your love of tools comes from your father.

Your love of sports comes from your daddy though! You started your first sports class this week and you LOVED it. You were so proud to tell everyone you played soccer. You tried so hard to follow your teacher's directions but you got a little confused here and there. He told you to stand on your yellow circle. So you brought your yellow circle with you everywhere you went. Even when it was your turn to score a goal you had your yellow circle in hand. You are just too darn cute!

Halloween got postponed this year due to the big storm that knocked out all the power in our town. So we went trick-or-treating last night on your birthday. You thought it was all for you. You got the hang of ringing the doorbell and saying "trick-or-treat" but the very next words out of your mouth every single time were "open it". You just couldn't wait. As I pick through the candy stash now I see a lot of them have teeth marks through the wrapper. You love your candy.

Some other things you love these days -- doggies, Nana Pat's jam, Elmo, your lovey and blankie, firetrucks, cars, playing outside, vacuuming, getting your haircut, your playroom, cake, ice cream and anything sweet, your boots, wrestling with Daddy and your big sister. Things you hate -- broccoli, eggs and washing your face.

You are a true joy in every way and I love you more and more each day. Your smile truly lights up a room and your laugh is the sweetest sound I have ever heard in my life. You are such a wonderful little boy.

Love,

Mommy

Dear Avery -- 3 years old

Dear Avery (or Vivi as your brother calls you),

Today is your 3rd birthday. Where has the time gone? You are no longer a baby and barely a toddler. You are a full-grown 3-year-old child. And I love you more and more each day.

For your birthday you got a red balance bike from Nana Pat & Poppy, a sand table and hello kitty bathrobe from Nana & Papa, 5 new movies from Grammie & Zayde, and a dollhouse and soccer ball from me & Daddy. Of course you loved everything. When I asked which was your favorite your answer was "all". This morning we went to an indoor play place and bounced, climbed and slid all morning long. Daddy and I had just as much fun as you and your brother.

You are bouncing down the stairs in your new robe right now with your hair dripping wet, fresh from your tub asking both to be fed and to sit on my lap. Must finish later...

Ok, I bought myself a little more time while I make your requested birthday dinner (hot dogs & pasta with butter) by putting on your requested show (Calliou) and giving you and Tyler your requested snack (frozen waffle -- yes you love them frozen).

Let's see, things you love these days -- Dora, dolls, books, painting, play do, imaginary play, chicken nuggets, cake, ice cream, swinging, running, singing, dancing, going to school, getting your haircut and cuddling in. Things you hate -- getting your hair washed, waiting for anything, tags on your clothes and most vegetables. Oh and sleeping past 5am (yes, you are still up multiple times a night.)

You started school a few weeks ago and you love it. Your teachers are Mrs. Donahue and Mrs. Glaser. You love going and are SO exhausted when you come home. Those are your longest nap days. You love singing your ABC's and recently told Daddy that you want to dance to that song with him at your wedding. He might just hold you to it. You do get J and K mixed up but it's so cute the way you sing it that I haven't really tried to correct you too much. You've gotten really good at counting and can get to about 12 without getting mixed up. I think that's pretty good! You can identify almost all of the letters and sounds and are very interested in what things spell. You also know all of your shapes (even oval and crescent!), your colors, days of the week (in no particular order) and months of the year. Recently you were at a Ms. Madgical show at the gym and another mom said to me "Your daughter knew is was September, wow!!!" I told her it was because your birthday was this month but really it's just because you are so smart!! I am amazed by you every single day.

Daddy and I think you are going to be an athlete. You certainly are built like one. You are so tall and strong and solid. Sometimes we run the track at the gym. You love it but your brother sometimes tries to run the elevator instead so we don't do it too often anymore. But a few weeks ago you ran a whole mile!!!! 15 full laps around that track. I was SO PROUD of you. My 3-year-old track star. Some day you'll get to run in a real race, I promise.

You have filled me with more joy in the last 3 years than I ever could have imagined. I will spend the rest of my life trying to repay you for that. I love you so much my sweet girl. Happy Birthday.

Love,

Mommy

Dear Avery -- 2 years old

Dear Avery,

I write this with a bittersweet heart. You are no longer my baby. You are my toddler, my big girl, my child. You have grown into your own. You have a personality (and a strong one at that) with your very own opinions, likes and dislikes, interests and sense of humor. You have your own agenda and stand your ground at all times. You love chocolate chip cookies, coupons, Elmo, the backyard swing and your handsome little brother. You can jump, gallop, walk frontwards down the stairs, count to 7, sing happy birthday and identify a handful of letters. You speak in full sentences and recently told me that you are a genius. Your favorite birthday gifts were your roller coaster, kitchen and doctor's kit. You got two shots today and didn't cry one tear.

I could never fully put into words how proud I am of you.

I have now officially graduated from the 2 under 2 club. As challenging as it was (and it WAS challenging) I think I will honestly look back on it as the most wonderful time in my life. I LOVED LOVED LOVED having 2 under 2. I will miss it. But of course I look forward to my "babies" growing up together.

Can I still call you my baby for a little while longer? My favorite time of day is before nap-time when my two babies crawl into my lap and I read you stories and rock you both in the glider. You and your brother giggle and play and we rock and read and cuddle. I cherish those moments

Before bedtime we read Goodnight Moon every single night (by your request) and then we say our prayers. You have a favorite of those too. You call it "cake" since there is a picture of a birthday cake on the page. It is the Irish blessing that was recited during our wedding ceremony and it will always be my prayer for you.

May green be the grass you walk on

May blue be the skies above you

May pure be the joys that surround you

May true be the hearts that love you.

I love you sweet girl. Happy Birthday.

Love,

Mommy

Dear Tyler -- 6 months old

Dear Tyler,

Today is Mother's Day. I know in theory this day is meant for children to thank their mothers for all they do. Well I'd really like to say thank you to you. You make being a mother the easiest, most wonderful thing in the world.

Honestly, you are the EASIEST baby. You go to sleep happy (totally on your own.) You wake up happy. You love the stroller. You love the car. You love the high chair. You love tummy time. You love to eat. I really can't think of anything you don't love. You don't complain. Ever. (well except when your big sis takes your toys away of course.) You are sitting up all on your own now and trying really hard to crawl. You love being tickled under your armpits. You love watching Daddy dance. You love when Avery jumps all over you. And of course you love your mommy.

As for poopy diapers, 5am feedings, spit-up and drool, all I can say is this -- my pleasure. Taking care of you and Avery is my greatest pleasure in life.

I am so blessed to be your mother.

Love,

Mommy

our valentine's day drama

We were at Target and Phil was paying for everything while I was getting the kids into the car. We were there to buy a new lamp because Avery pulled the lamp off the table that morning. When I tried to assess the damage and put it back together I actually got electrocuted, sparks and everything!! I guess it's a good thing we were at Target and not the emergency room!

Anyway I got Tyler in first and then was getting Avery in. She was playing with my keys and I was about to take them away but Tyler started crying so I ran around to the other side of the car to give him his paci. It was cold and I closed Avery's door before running to the other side. Well she pressed the lock button!!!

I don't think I even realized the potential emergency until Phil came out and I had to tell him -the kids were locked inside. Thank god he was with me! Then Ty started screaming and pulled the bundle-me up over his face. Then I really started to panic. Both of our cell phones were also locked inside the car. DH ran inside to go call the police and I spoke very calmly to Avery through the window asking her (begging her) to please, pretty please press the OTHER button on the keys. She just kept pressing the lock button over and over thinking it was the funniest thing in the world. I was TERRIFIED she was going to drop the keys.

Thankfully she didn't drop them and eventually pressed the unlock button. Looking back on it I can't believe nobody stopped to ask if I needed help. I was practically crying and it was obvious I was talking to a very young child through a window for a much longer time than would be normal on a cold day.

Anyway note to self -- never let your LO play with your keys INSIDE of your car unless you are inside with him/her. I went back to Target today and got Avery her very own key set that looks like real keys and they even have a lock/unlock button.

Dear Avery -- 16 months old

Dear Avery -- 16 months old,

Already there are tears in my eyes, that is how much I miss you. Daddy and I are on our way to Aruba. We planned originally to bring you with us. But in the end I realized that that would be more for my sake than for yours and that you would be better off in the comfort of your own home with your Nana and Papa and your baby brother. Hard as it was to kiss you good-bye this morning, I know it was the right choice.

You amaze me still every day and you keep me on my toes. You are speaking about 100 words now and have mastered the two-word sentence -- “hat Dada”, “hi Ty”, “no nap” and “car Mama” (for when you want me to carry you -- which is quite often these days.)

We’ve had a rough couple of weeks. It started when you fell down a whole flight of stairs. You scared your mama half to death. We had playgroup at our house that morning. As always things were chaotic -- toys thrown everywhere, toddlers running around every which way. I was at the door saying good-bye to our friends and you and Hunter were playing at the bottom of the stairs. You were being silly and showing off, climbing up the stairs to try to get a reaction from me. And I let you go.

I let you go. I was right there -- only I learned that being right there at the bottom of the stairs does no good when your baby falls all the way from the top. I watched your little body land hard on every step, your sweet face twisted in terror. But there was nothing I could do to stop it. I’ve replayed that fall in my head a million times and each time there is still nothing I can do. I grabbed you at that last bounce and held you close to me crying out for my friends to help. Horrible thoughts raced through my head. But Amanda finally convinced me to put you down (I was sure your broken body would just crumble to the floor) and do you know what you did? You ran off and played! You were fine -- not a bruise, not a scrape, nothing. See sweet girl, you AMAZE me. You probably won’t even remember it. Me, on the other hand, I am scarred for life.

This, my dear, is motherhood.

A few days later I rushed Tyler to the ER with a high fever. He was diagnosed with RSV and had coughing fits so bad I thought he’d stop breathing. And then just when he was finally getting better, you and I got it too. The only thing worse than two sick babies is a sick mommy with two sick babies. It was tough.

And then finally, FINALLY when we were all on the mend, Daddy and I caught the stomach bug. Now that was BAD. Thankfully Nana and Papa were already on their way. In 16 months this was the first time I honestly could not take care of my babies. Even when I was in labor with your brother, on my hands and knees with contractions, I could still care for you. But not yesterday. I was SICK. You couldn’t understand why mama and dada were there but not there and you cried for me all day long. All I could do was hang my head over the toilet and tell you that I love you.

Sometimes that is all you can do. And obviously pray that the tummy bug germ hasn’t been passed on to you or your brother.

There was a moment during our course of bad luck when it seemed as though it just couldn’t get any worse. Your brother was in the high chair coughing his horrible heartbreaking cough. You were sitting in your booster seat, snot just pouring from your nose like a faucet, baby carrots and rice thrown all over the kitchen, jello in your hair, screaming in refusal to take your medicine for your double ear infection. Daddy and I were so tired our eyes hurt. Daddy kept trying until finally you threw up the pink gooey mess -- all over you, all over him, all over the booster seat, all over the floor. Daddy was stressed. It was, after-all, stressful.

And do you know what your mother here did? I laughed. Daddy didn’t really like that. But what was the alternative?

I had a vision in that moment -- Daddy and I many years down the road looking back on our life with two small babies -- the chaos, the tears, the sleepless nights, the snot, the puke, the jello in the hair. And I pictured us missing it. As stressful as it is at times, I know we will miss it once it is gone. We’ll long for it. And we won’t be able to get it back. We’ll look back and laugh until we cry. I am sure of it.

Avery, I am so proud of you in so many ways. You and your brother are the lights of my life. When I bring you to the gym or Target or the grocery store and you smile your big smile and say “hi-i” and “bye-ye” to every stranger we pass, I watch as your joy brings light to their faces. You, my sweet girl, are infectious. You amaze me. And I am truly proud to be your mother. I wouldn’t trade all the craziness for anything.

I am going to miss you so much this week. Daddy is too (he just leaned over on the plane and whispered to me that he misses you too.)

Love,

Mommy

my kids are giving me gray hairs

Last Thursday Avery somersaulted down the stairs and gave me a heart attack.

Sunday morning I rushed Tyler to the ER for a high fever. He was diagnosed with RSV and was admitted for a little over 24 hours. Since then he has had coughing attacks so bad I thought he was going to stop breathing.

This morning I was trying to rush off to the pediatrician (for the 3rd time since Monday) and had to run upstairs to get Avery dressed. I used to carry Ty up with us and let Avery go up the stairs herself but I am so paranoid of her falling again and not being able to stop her if Ty is in my arms. So I left Ty in the bouncy seat downstairs and carried Avery up -- I can't carry them both at once. Avery was in a mood and would NOT let me get her diaper changed. I could hear Tyler crying downstairs but couldn't leave Avery naked on the changing table (story of my life). She took forever and Tyler's crying turned into screaming. I was getting really stressed which just made Avery fight me more. Finally I ran downstairs with Avery half-dressed and Tyler was FACE DOWN in his bouncy seat!!!!!!!! Apparently the little stinker learned how to flip.

This is my own fault since I didn't strap him in and thought he was ok just sitting there. Poor thing scared himself to death and then his screaming turned into a full-blown coughing attack and he puked.

I am so exhausted I could cry. Oh the joys of motherhood.