Thanksgiving 2015
Dear Phil,
I am thankful for our home. As much as I complain about our stupid cabinets and our tiny ugly bathrooms, I am grateful for the roof over our head and the backyard we can call our own. Mostly though, I am thankful for the noises that fill it. I am thankful for the laughter, the giggles, the squeals of delight. I am thankful for the whispered conversations between our children as they drift off to sleep. I am thankful for their never-ending questions…for their curiosity and daily evidence of learning and growing. I am even thankful for the arguments, the screaming, the crying, the stomping. A silent house is an empty one. I am thankful that we have filled ours with life…and all it’s glory.
I am thankful for my job. As much as I complain about the politics of teaching, when I step into the confines of those 4 walls of my little classroom, I get to do what I love. I get to do what inspires me, and I get to inspire others. I get to put my little stamp on this world and be somebody. Not everyone is so lucky.
I am thankful for your job. I know that you hate it. And I really hate that you hate it. But I am thankful that you can hate something and still get paid well for doing it. I am thankful that we have enough money for that roof over our head. As much as this roller coaster has been bumpy and tough, I am thankful for it. I know we will look back on it one day and realize we came out of it a hell of a lot stronger than we went in. It’s only a matter of time.
I am thankful for your parents and for mine. I am thankful that our children have six grandparents who love them so unconditionally. I am thankful for each of their unique gifts and own special ways of expressing generosity. I am thankful for the cousins our children get to grow up with. I am also thankful for the ones that they can’t grow up with. They have offered a perspective of the world our children wouldn’t have otherwise seen. They have made them wiser, more compassionate, more thoughtful, more understanding.
I am thankful for the grandparents that I lost. Even though my grief over the last year or so has broken my heart and turned me inside out, I am thankful for the experience that has left me stronger and more appreciative. I am thankful for all the years I did have and for all the gifts they left me with.
I am thankful for our health. I take it for granted, I know. Every time I mutter the words, “why does everything have to be so hard,” I am shamed even before they finish coming out of my mouth. I know things could be SO much harder. SO MUCH HARDER. As much as I complain about the never-ending laundry, I am thankful that our children are healthy enough to play outside and get dirty. I am thankful that they keep growing.
More than anything, though, I am thankful for you. I am thankful for your love, your devotion, your sense of humor and your forgiveness. Raising children is the biggest, most important job of our lives. We haven’t done it perfectly. But when I see our children playing gently with their baby cousin or hugging their great-aunt or thanking their grandparents or delivering the Thanksgiving speech or cuddling with their daddy on the couch, I know that we are doing it well. We are raising good, confident, solid people. Nothing about it is easy, but I am so grateful to be doing it all with you by my side.
With every sigh of frustration or roll of my eyes, I know deep down I am lucky. Beneath all of it, I am thankful. Always.
I love you,
Andra
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