Amy

Dear Avery,

It's been a while since I've written and I'm sorry. Life just gets busy. And well, sometimes I get a little lazy. I am 7 months pregnant now and you are just about 11 months old. So I guess that's my excuse. You are keeping me very busy and your little brother or sister is keeping me very exhausted. And I love you both more than anything.

When you were about 5 months old you got to meet a beautiful person. Her name was Amy. She was the warmest person I've ever known. She and I did our master's program together at UVM but our friendship went so much deeper. Somehow she became my family. I called her Auntie Amy. I think I was like a daughter to her. Silly as it sounds, she kept a picture of me on her refrigerator.

That's the thing about Amy. She was silly. But she didn't care who laughed at her. You couldn't not laugh in Amy's presence. Because Amy was always, always laughing. And her laugh was contagious. That was her greatest gift.

Amy was in the middle of her chemo treatments when your daddy and I got married. She wasn't sure whether or not she'd be able to make it to our wedding. It was a 4-hour trip for her. I'll never forget it though. Daddy and I had just said our "I do's" and were walking along the beach with our photographer. And there was Amy -- yelling "hi Ani!" (that's what she called me) at the top of her lungs and waving her arms frantically and laughing and laughing. I don't think I've ever been so happy to see anyone. A lot of things made my day that day but seeing Amy was definitely one of them.

Amy had a surprise birthday party in March. You were just 5 months old. It wasn't easy to travel with you at that age. You still hated the car and screamed all the way to Vermont. But I knew I had to go and I knew I had to bring you. I just knew she had to meet you. Amy was shocked by the party and even more shocked to see me there. I loved that moment when she saw you for the first time. It totally made her day.

I was only about 5 weeks pregnant at the time and wasn't telling people yet. But as I hugged Amy good-bye, I whispered to her, "I'm pregnant again!" She squealed and laughed and hugged me hard. She was SO happy for me. What a wonderful moment. The picture above was taken just after that -- what a special picture of all four of us. It was the last time I ever saw her. 

We have to cancel our trip to Nantucket this weekend so that Daddy and I can go to Amy's funeral. I was really excited to bring you to Nantucket. It was going to be a really, really fun weekend. But here's the lesson. There are just some things in life that are more important than fun. Honoring a loved one's life is one of them. 

I know that Amy will be looking down from heaven and laughing out loud at the site of me and Laurie together -- both with our big pregnant bellies. My hope is that she'll be feeling just as joyful and loved to see me at her funeral as I was to see her at my wedding.

That's what friendship is all about.

I love you sweet girl.

Love,

Mommy