family date

We were walking through Faneuil Hall today in Boston and some guy walked by and yelled, "WOW!" and then starting laughing really hard. Then a few seconds after he passed us he yelled, "but you ain't got nothing in the back, god bless you!" I turned to Phil and said, "was he talking to ME?!?!?!" Turns out he was. LOL.

I was actually flattered by this. At least I "ain't got nothing in the back", right? I still can't figure out if he was saying wow and laughing because I am pregnant while pushing a baby in a stroller or because my belly is just THAT big. Has he never seen someone this pregnant before?!

dance this baby out

I hate this

I know you all think I am so patient because we didn't find out the sex but the truth is I am the LEAST patient person you will ever know. I HATE WAITING!!! Last night was such a tease. I'm sorry for teasing all of you too. This morning I have nothing. NOTHING. NADA. ZERO. I'm frustrated.

I'm just ready already. I want to meet my baby. I want to know if I am going to have a son in my life or two little girls. I want to know if Avery will go through life with a brother or a sister. I can't stand waiting anymore!!!

I hate not knowing when. It could be today, it could be 3 weeks from today. This is the part that is hardest for me. It is seriously making me crazy. Ok, I'm sorry for whining. I know there are much bigger things in the world and this is nothing to complain about. I just had to vent for a minute.

I think we've decided

to let nature take its course. We haven't finished talking about it and Phil says he wants to sleep on it. But I know him. And I know he doesn't want to do the induction. And he doesn't think his mother would want us to do it just because of her either.

We need to make a serious plan B for Avery which might include Phil coming home both nights (if possible) in time to do bedtime with her. It will be harder on all of us -- me, Phil, Avery, my mother-in-law. But I really just don't think I'm comfortable evicting BB before he/she is ready if it isn't medically necessary.

I have come to believe that this child was conceived at this time for a reason. And likewise this child will come into the world at a certain time for a reason. It's not up to me (or any of us) to decide when.

But I'm still hoping it's sooner rather than later!!

38 weeks

The update is there is no update. BB is still great. My cervix is still soft but pretty much closed. My midwife was not concerned about H1N1. I am feeling a little better today and I think it's just a slight cold. I talked to her about our mother-in-law predicament. Basically she has to have surgery the beginning of Nov (basically right around my EDD) and will not be able to help with Avery if BB decides to wait until then to arrive. My midwife mentioned the option of elective induction next week. I am REALLY torn on this. I have never been a big fan of elective inductions and can't even believe I am considering it. I am more of a let-mother-nature-do-its-thing kind of girl. The only other option we have for Avery is my brother & sister-in-law but they have 3 young kids of their own. Having my in-laws come here is definitely the best and least disruptive option for Avery. Doing what is best for her is my biggest priority. And knowing exactly when we'd be leaving for the hospital would make things a lot easier in that respect. But of course I want to do what's best for BB too. I don't like the idea of evicting him/her before it's really time. I don't like the idea of putting drugs into my body if it's not necessary. But I also know plenty of people who were induced and their babies turned out just fine. As for me, I think I would feel a little robbed about not going into labor on my own. I loved that part of it with Avery. Everything about it was so exciting. But I guess I had that experience with her. Maybe it's ok if I don't get it again? Like I said Avery & BB's needs are more important than my own this time around. I would still be able to labor in the tub and she said I'd still have a good chance of going naturally. MWs use pitocin differently than OBs. She said they use it much more gently and gradually so the chance of it leading to a c-section is less than if I were being induced by an OB. And of course I don't want mother-in-law to miss this. She is like the mother I never had and I love her dearly. I really WANT her to be a part of it and stay with us afterwards like she did with Avery. I'd hate for her to have to miss that and be dealing with the whole cancer scare instead. That would just suck for her. So as you can see I am really torn. We have to decide by Wednesday. Phil says he still needs more time to think about it but I think he would rather let nature take its course.

final boy name

We had a great time on our date although we feel lame that we were home by 8:00. Oh well. We're homebodies I guess.

Avery did great -- this is the FIRST time anyone has ever put her to bed besides myself or Phil or my mother-in-law. She cried for 10 minutes (not uncommon for her at all) and then rolled over and went to sleep. I'm so proud of all the progress she's made. And I really like/trust our babysitter. This was a HUGE step for us.

We had a really honest talk about names. In the end we both agreed that my maiden name is more appropriate as a middle name, not a first name. There are a lot of other reasons/associations/family issues and I do think this is the right decision. I'm glad we took the time to really talk it through. It was important.

And in our talk we both fell more in love with Tyler. The name means so much to Phil because of his friend Ty. I mean the guy died trying to save his wife's life -- can you get more noble than that? It means so much to me to give our son a name with such meaning.

I don't think Tyler Jacob flows quite as nicely but we aren't really planning on saying the first and middle name together all the time anyway. And in the end meaning is more important to me.

So after this very long explanation BB will probably turn out to be a girl! And FWIW I've been having somewhat painful contractions since dinner...

officially unattached!!

I can honestly say I think we fixed it. Phil is upstairs giving her a bath right now and she is nothing but laughs and squeals. There has been NO crying -- NONE -- in a few days now. If I had known it was going to be this easy I would have done it LONG ago. I'd say it took about a week -- there was A LOT of screaming the first few days but we didn't cave and I guess she finally learned that screaming about it was pointless.

I have now left her with the babysitter twice and she did great both times. Again, no crying. I also left her with my brother and sister-in-law (and her cousins of course) and she loved it and had a blast. This is like a HUGE weight off my chest. I will be able to spend time with BB without her and she will survive.

And the best part is that she seems all-around just happier lately. Listening to the two of them up there right now singing and laughing together while I sit down here and relax is seriously the most wonderful thing in the world.