37 weeks

Just got home from my 37-week appt. All is well. BB is head down and ready for action. My midwife did an internal and said I was better than a 0 but not quite a 1, whatever that means. I guess my cervix is ripe and soft and things have "started" but my inner cervix is not quite open yet. Part of me thinks that's just what they say so you're not disappointed about no progress. She said I could go into labor tonight or it could be a few more weeks. Lovely.

Anyway at the end of my appointment she said she's see me next week...or maybe she wouldn't. That gave me a little bit more hope. Sorry I don't have more to report!

ok, what am I forgetting?

*hospital bag, labor bag and Avery's bag are all half-packed with a list of last minute things to be added
*Avery's information list is printed and ready to give to MIL (yes I typed up 5 whole pages about her routine/meals/etc.)
*infant seat installed
*extra seat for Avery installed in SIL's car -- she will be getting Avery when I go into labor
*will be getting another extra seat to put in DH's car so IL's can get Avery from SIL's house and to/from the hospital
*bottles & pacis sterilized and ready to go
*gender-neutral clothes all washed and put away (will send Mom out to buy boy clothes if BB is a boy and will ask MIL to wash girl clothes if BB is a girl)
*bassinet set up in our room
*3 changing stations set up with diapers/wipes/etc. (nursery, PnP, our bedroom)
*swing set up just outside gate to the kitchen so Avery cannot attack
*bouncy seat set up inside PnP so Avery cannot attack
*other bouncy seat set up in our bathroom so I can shower
*still don't know where to put activity mat -- might just do tummy time when Avery is upstairs sleeping
*totally stocked on groceries & supplies -- even made a meatloaf and put it in the freezer for our first official meal with our family of 4
*stocked on pads/hemmoroid cream etc. for me
*double stroller ready to go in the garage -- still have to learn how to use it
*email list created
*Kerri's # in my phone so DH can text her asap and she can let all of you know

Am I missing anything??? I'm finally feeling READY!

I don't think I can do this -- totally overwhelmed

I don't even know where to begin. What the f&*&**& was I thinking?!?!? Unless having an infant and a 1-year-old is easier than being pregnant with a 1-year-old (which I'm almost positive it isn't) I am totally screwed. I am at my breaking point. I know there are other people out there who have had babies this close together and survived just fine. But they don't have an Avery.

I love my daughter more than anything. But let's be real. She is not like other babies. She is wild and crazy. I love her for it. I'm SO proud of her all the time. But she's CHALLENGING. She hates the car. She hates the stroller. She basically hates anything that keeps her in one place. And she barely naps. So basically she never gives me a break. I am either entertaining her or chasing her ALL DAY LONG. I just don't see how this is going to work with an infant. It is already not working now and BB isn't even here yet.

I just feel like I am not going to make it. I have no picture in my mind of how this is going to work. And I am absolutely SCARED TO DEATH. Thank you for letting me vent...again.

holy crap, I don't hear screaming!!

No, I HEAR LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!

Phil is giving Avery a bath and this is the FIRST time she hasn't screamed the whole time. She did scream on the way up the stairs and for the first few minutes but the screams just stopped and out came the laughing. The two of them took a special trip to Target before dinner to pick out a special rubber ducky (it was a football one of course) and we all made a big deal of feeding, kissing and loving the ducky. We named it "ducky lovey". And I guess IT WORKED!!!

I'm so excited I think I might start crying!

she did GREAT with the babysitter!

Wahooooooo!!!!! I am SOOOOOOO happy! She called mama a few times right after I left but no crying at all. I took out a few new puzzles that she hadn't seen yet right before I left. That worked well. Babysitter said she ate all her lunch, drank her whole sippy and was happy as could be the WHOLE time. I am seriously doing the happy dance right now! Plus she just went down for her nap within minutes.

you will laugh at me

So after I wrote that last post about how Avery has made no progress with the separation thing and she will probably scream for the rest of her life every time Phil gives her a bath, he comes down the stairs and says, "It went great!"

Ha! Apparently she screamed during the bath but she wasn't calling for mama. She was screaming for her lovey! I do think this is progress. Now we just need to find a waterproof lovey and we will be all set!

After he got her out of the bath and gave her lovey back she was fine. Fine for jammies, fine for the story, fine for going in her crib. Went to sleep just FINE. I never even went up to say goodnight. I was planning to but Phil said it was going so well he decided to go with it and not call me up. And all that time I was panicking that this was never going to get any better.

Well at least now we know where she gets her "drama-queening" from. LOL.

separation anxiety update

no progress. none.

Who ever knew we'd have to do CIO for BATHS?!?!?! I think I have the most stubborn baby/toddler on the planet. She wants me to bathe her and will SCREAM at the top of her lungs every single night. I don't think she is anywhere close to giving in. Thank GOD Phil is much calmer than me and doesn't get frazzled by all the screaming. I on the other hand, feel like I am going to puke.

Please somebody tell me this will only take a few more days. I can't do this every night for the rest of my life.

Tomorrow I am leaving her with the babysitter. Shoot me now if she screams like this the whole time I am gone. Crying doesn't bother me. But let me just tell you, my lovely daughter takes it to the EXTREME. And it SUCKS.