Dear Avery & Tyler -- my hopes and dreams for you

Dear Avery and Tyler,

I can't take credit for writing this but I came across it, and it brought tears to my eyes. These are my hopes and dreams for the both of you...

I hope I raise a child who says “thank you” to the bus driver when he gets off the bus, “please” to the waiter taking his order at the restaurant, and holds the elevator doors when someone’s rushing to get in.

I hope I raise a child who loses graciously and wins without bragging. I hope he learns that disappointments are fleeting and so are triumphs, and if he comes home at night to people who love him, neither one matter. Nobody is keeping score, except sometimes on Facebook.

I hope I raise a child who is kind to old people.

I hope I raise a child who realizes that life is unfair: Some people are born rich or gorgeous. Some people really are handed things that they don’t deserve. Some people luck into jobs or wealth that they don’t earn. Tough.

I hope I raise a child who gets what he wants just often enough to keep him optimistic but not enough to make him spoiled.

I hope I raise a child who knows that he’s loved and special but that he’s not the center of the universe and never, ever will be.

I hope I raise a child who will stick up for a kid who’s being bullied on the playground. I also hope I raise a child who, if he’s the one being bullied, fights back. Hard. Oh, and if he’s the bully? I hope he realizes that his mother, who once wore brown plastic glasses and read the phonebook on the school bus, will cause him more pain than a bully ever could.

I hope I raise a child who relishes life’s tiny pleasures—whether it’s a piece of music, or the color of a gorgeous flower, or Chinese takeout on a rainy Sunday night.

I hope I raise a child who is open-minded and curious about the world without being reckless.

I hope I raise a child who doesn’t need to affirm his self-worth through bigotry, snobbery, materialism, or violence.

I hope I raise a child who likes to read.

I hope I raise a child who is courageous when sick and grateful when healthy.

I hope I raise a child who begins and ends all relationships straightforwardly and honorably.

I hope I raise a child who can spot superficiality and artifice from a mile away and spends his time with people and things that feel authentic to him.

I hope I raise a child who makes quality friends and keeps them.

I hope I raise a child who realizes that his parents are flawed but loves them anyway.

Dear Tyler -- 2 1/2 years old

Dear Tyler,

My sweet, sweet boy. It is Saturday morning, otherwise known around here as Daddy Day. This is the day Daddy gets up at the crack of dawn (5:37 today to be exact) with you and your sister, and mommy gets to sleep in. I couldn't fall back to sleep today, though, so I am enjoying sipping my coffee and watching the news while the three of you are out getting munchkins and taking your weekly drive around town.

You turned 2 1/2 yesterday. You are so proud. You are getting smarter and sweeter by the day. You have started a class at the YMCA called "So Big", essentially a weekly 1-hour introduction to preschool. You enjoyed yourself the first Tuesday (and never took your new backpack off your back!) but when I told you this past Tuesday that you were going to "school" again your words were, "But I already did that!"

You make me laugh every day. On Wednesday this week Daddy was on a trip and I took you and Avery out for your favorite dinner -- grilled cheese and yogurt at Panera. You were your wild little self, jumping up and down in the booth, too busy to eat much of anything. In the bathroom we had a whole conversation about The Men's Room and The Ladies Room, all overheard by an older woman in the stall next to us who told me she wished she had a tape recorder. (Yes, sweetheart, your sister potty-trained you about 4 months ago. Three days and you were totally in underwear. You blew my mind with that one!) I explained that when you grow up and become a man you can go in the Men's Room like Daddy but for now you can come in the Ladies Room with Mommy. You told me that when I become a man I can go in the Men's Room too. Haha!!

Anyway we got back to the table and you were wild as ever. Somehow your pants starting to fall down and you and Avery thought it was just hysterical that your tiny little bum was hanging out. I quickly pulled your pants and underwear back up (sometimes I think you are too young to be potty-trained and wearing underwear!!) and you swiftly pulled them right back down all the way and not only mooned but FLASHED the entire restaurant.

Oh Tyler! Trying my damnedest not to laugh, I yanked the pants back up, took one last bite of my salad, stuffed your grilled cheese into my bag and piled up all our dishes with one arm while I carried your squirming 33-lb body in my other arm and quickly dropped our tray off and fled the scene. As we rushed out of there an old lady told me, "Oh honey, flashing is good." Haha!!!

We got into the car and you were quite devastated to learn that no, you did NOT earn your cookie.

Mortifying as it was, I know it was one of those mommy moments that I will look back on and smile. I know someday I will long for that sweet, clueless little boy who hadn't yet been taught one of life's important lessons. We both know you will never pull that stunt again, but I also know that you will never be quite that innocent and free and...well, clueless again either.

You are growing up fast, Tyler, and I want to savior all of it. At bedtime you always ask for a hug and a "mah" -- your word for a kiss. Lately you tell me you want a BIG one. Your wrap your little arms around my neck and squeeze with all your might. And then you stick your little lips to mine and say "mah" as loud and big as you can. It is my favorite moment of every day. I hope you always love me as pure and as big as you do now. I know I always will.

I love you so much sweet boy. MAH!!!!!!!

Love,
Mommy